a random title and explanation

i woke up early this morning.  ok, it was 7:20, right after mike walked out the door and as soon as i made it to the hallway i could smell the coffee...and could hear myself smile....ahhhhh...it's early enough to almost believe that today could be slightly overcast with a cool breeze.  so, if i sit still enough i can pretend, for at least the next hour that this is the start, the start of autumn.

i sipped my coffee, nestled into my little spot by the window and started to pour over pictures from my weekend up north, and then realized that i haven't even looked through my pictures from san francisco....

and i became conscious of the fact that this yearning for fall and cool wind, well, it all started with this trip....

coupled with a cool, soft fog enveloping the city; requesting long pants and a cute little button-ups to stay comfortable.

we walked and walked and explored this new city with all it's unique little districts.

yup, i'm pretty sure he's doing exactly what you think he is doing, but hey, it's piratically legal here.

the air was fresh and salty without the stickiness of the deep south and it made me crave something warm and pumpkin spiced.  

but we settled for this instead.

we hiked a new coastline until we came across this tiny commune

 and were freaked out by this doll

and quietly observed the people from the street

the clouds, the fog and the slightly below sweating temperature made me crave fall.  i long for cool breezes and having the windows open,  wearing sweatpants and coming home to soft vegetables in the crock pot.  i can't wait for living room nights lit by the fire and crisp afternoons watching football with friends. 

fall, it is my favorite season.  but, with that being said, i love summer too, and spring.  i really couldn't choose. i am a fair-weathered-season-person (if there is such a thing). mike laughs, because halfway through one season i vocalize my anticipation for the next and start to plan/jam all of our seasonal activities.  

and, with all this talk about seasons i can't help but think about last winter and spring when the idea of this blog and this new outlook on life slowly started to brew and why i decided to call it this online journal... when the sun comes out...  

so, here it is, in an nutshell:

this past winter was cold and we had just unexpectedly moved back from the UK and back to south carolina... still far away from our family in maine, far away from where it happened... to start over.   somehow i zombied myself through christmas... hid from people who weeks before had rubbed my belly...  all the time wondering how i would i ever climb out of this dark hole, blanketed by the cold of winter.

when spring came around and this sleepy southern town began to bloom, i felt myself starting to grow.  that thickness of depression that i was fighting all those cold months was slowly melting away, and i was beginning to feel better.   i can remember heading outside in the morning and appreciating the safety in that sunlight, i would play with the dogs and in the afternoon i would sit outside, stare up at the sky and allow my face to be kissed by its gentle rays .  the sun had warmed my heart  and i was beginning to see the beauty again - even in heartache.  and, when the sun came out i set out with a new attitude....

i still cry sometimes when i'm safely tucked away in my car or hugging my grandmother or running with my dogs or that song comes on my ipod... ok, i guess i still cry a lot!  but, the point that i am trying to make is that i see it now...the beauty in life,  in my life... everyday.  

i wake up and i bronze me checks and curl my lashes, drink my creamy coffee, pet my dogs and kiss my husband and take pictures and nurse sick people...and i take time for the small things- to enjoy my life... so, when winter turned to spring...and the sun came out, i was ready for it.  and i guess that's why i thought when the sun comes out was a fitting title.  because there is something truly special about the seasonal shift...

now, back to fall.

i had to hold myself back at target the other day; as it is a little too early to dress my front door with a fall wreath or to decorate my house with colored leaves and pumpkins, but it is coming, i can smell it!  so until then, i'll keep my scarves tucked away on their top shelf in my closet and hold out on wearing my new hat and we will proudly sport our flip-flops and take advantage of our hot and sunny august.  we'll sit at the pool and sip cold beers, go out for mexican, hopefully make it to the beach one more time, bbq with friends and patiently soak up all this sunshine.

so here it is, a totally random post that started off as a catalogue of my trip to san francisco and ended with some long and weird explanation about the seasons and the name of this blog, enjoy!

pure sunshine

my little sister is here and it feels so....right.  i keep having flashbacks of our big white house in maine, when i would babysit her and dress her up, pack picnics, make dance routines and curl the hell out of her bangs . gosh, that seems like so long ago.  but, i look at who she has become, all she has accomplished in just 19 years and it makes my heart swell. i am proud.   she is pure sunshine.  mike and i laugh because she absolutely has a small part of each of her parents and her siblings.  she has the best part of us all...rolled into one beautiful woman. 

she and scott watched the pups this weekend so mike and i could hop over to Charleston for a wedding. and we were greeted by this sky...

it was a powerful storm.  dark clouds slowly crept in, allowing for only minimal beach time, before my-survivor-man/husband, deemed the beach unsafe...i think he almost dragged me off while i was trying to capture the intensity of what would surely come.

 the storm was massive, the kind you only experience at the beach.  and we drove, looking for the best place to eat and i would yell ''stop!, i have to get that picture"  and he would reluctantly pull the car over and i would dodge rain drops and huge puddles to snap a photo.  i love the contrast of greens and blues... i love a good summer storm.

we ate crabs... (which i think is law if it is your first time in charleston)  and shacked up at charleston crab house  where we ordered entirely too much food,  sipped cold beer and cracked crab legs until it was difficult move....all the while, watching lightning crackle over the ocean in front of us.

and, i still don't know how to take nice looking photos in the dark or of lightning, so if anyone has any suggestions...


it was a quiet night, early to bed -early to rise.  we had a wedding that afternoon, old friends to reconnect with and a beach just waiting for us to take advantage of it.  mike went for a run and i (honestly did forget my running shoes) walked the still morning streets, acquainting myself with the area.

i came across this hidden wharf and these little fisher-kids hunting crabs.

oh, the beach.  there is something about being in front of such a powerful body of water and not being able to see the other side....and wondering who or what is directly in front of you so many, many miles away....

we baked in the sun just long enough and surfed in the waves....and i do have the wounds to prove it, but they are the most unflattering pictures and simply cannot be placed on the internet....so take my word for it... there was blood and i was scared a shark would sniff me out.

can you spot the alli ?



and lunch was, of course, blood marys and tacos.

then, the wedding.  it was my first beach wedding and absolutely beautiful.  sara is all about details, and it showed.  she and arimin were all smiles and the love was in the air.

we stood with our feet warmed by the sand.... knowing we were witnessing something real.

soft smiles and salty tears...exactly the recipe for a delicious wedding

this is my favorite picture


and these little flower girls took their spot quietly in the background, soaking it all in and, i'm sure, dreaming of their wedding day.

the one on the left looks like she is meditating!

 thank you sara and arimn,

for letting us all be part of a day you will forever remember and we will not soon forget.

you gave us all a chance to reconnect at one of the most beautiful places in the south.

 deer.... at the beach!

we packed it up, after one more early afternoon of floating in the salt water....we climbed back into the car, sleepy from the sun and the long night with old friends... salty from the ocean and sand still clinging to our legs and flops...

and, were welcomed home by a smiling sister and happy dogs, homemade cookies (yes, lydia made cookies from scratch) and, of course, thai sunday!!  lydia had never had thai food so we introduced her to a mini brown- sunday -tradition.... pineapple stir fry, pad thai and green curry....yummy.

we soaked up her last days in the south...

i miss her already

and so does bella

i cried small tears after i dropped her and scott off at the airport and i had the same feeling i do after a trip to maine, when i'm sitting in the airport, flipping through the many memories we've made... i hate living this far from my family. i hate that she can't come over for dinner. i hate that i can't watch my little brother's baseball games.  i hate that my mom isn't able to swing by on the weekends and  i hate that tight feeling in my  throat when i write about it, because this is how it is, at least for now, for awhile.  and, i love my life down here (even if it is 98 degrees 99% of the time), and i am thankful that living so far away warrants so many trips home, coupled with the harder -and -longer-kind-of- hugs where we whisper little messages to each other like ''it's so good to see you'' or ''i'm going to miss you'' or, simply, ''i love you''.... we eat better (and more) food and celebrate harder each time we visit each other....it makes our time together more special...

lydia, i miss you already and it was SO good to see you. but, i'll see you in a few days because i'm going to boston :) and  i can't wait for our girls weekend and to celebrate with our big sister!