Monday, August 23, 2010

a random title and explanation

i woke up early this morning.  ok, it was 7:20, right after mike walked out the door and as soon as i made it to the hallway i could smell the coffee...and could hear myself's early enough to almost believe that today could be slightly overcast with a cool breeze.  so, if i sit still enough i can pretend, for at least the next hour that this is the start, the start of autumn.

i sipped my coffee, nestled into my little spot by the window and started to pour over pictures from my weekend up north, and then realized that i haven't even looked through my pictures from san francisco....

and i became conscious of the fact that this yearning for fall and cool wind, well, it all started with this trip....

coupled with a cool, soft fog enveloping the city; requesting long pants and a cute little button-ups to stay comfortable.

we walked and walked and explored this new city with all it's unique little districts.

yup, i'm pretty sure he's doing exactly what you think he is doing, but hey, it's piratically legal here.

the air was fresh and salty without the stickiness of the deep south and it made me crave something warm and pumpkin spiced.  

but we settled for this instead.

we hiked a new coastline until we came across this tiny commune
 and were freaked out by this doll

and quietly observed the people from the street

the clouds, the fog and the slightly below sweating temperature made me crave fall.  i long for cool breezes and having the windows open,  wearing sweatpants and coming home to soft vegetables in the crock pot.  i can't wait for living room nights lit by the fire and crisp afternoons watching football with friends. 

fall, it is my favorite season.  but, with that being said, i love summer too, and spring.  i really couldn't choose. i am a fair-weathered-season-person (if there is such a thing). mike laughs, because halfway through one season i vocalize my anticipation for the next and start to plan/jam all of our seasonal activities.  

and, with all this talk about seasons i can't help but think about last winter and spring when the idea of this blog and this new outlook on life slowly started to brew and why i decided to call it this online journal... when the sun comes out...  

so, here it is, in an nutshell:
this past winter was cold and we had just unexpectedly moved back from the UK and back to south carolina... still far away from our family in maine, far away from where it happened... to start over.   somehow i zombied myself through christmas... hid from people who weeks before had rubbed my belly...  all the time wondering how i would i ever climb out of this dark hole, blanketed by the cold of winter.

when spring came around and this sleepy southern town began to bloom, i felt myself starting to grow.  that thickness of depression that i was fighting all those cold months was slowly melting away, and i was beginning to feel better.   i can remember heading outside in the morning and appreciating the safety in that sunlight, i would play with the dogs and in the afternoon i would sit outside, stare up at the sky and allow my face to be kissed by its gentle rays .  the sun had warmed my heart  and i was beginning to see the beauty again - even in heartache.  and, when the sun came out i set out with a new attitude....

i still cry sometimes when i'm safely tucked away in my car or hugging my grandmother or running with my dogs or that song comes on my ipod... ok, i guess i still cry a lot!  but, the point that i am trying to make is that i see it now...the beauty in life,  in my life... everyday.  

i wake up and i bronze me checks and curl my lashes, drink my creamy coffee, pet my dogs and kiss my husband and take pictures and nurse sick people...and i take time for the small things- to enjoy my life... so, when winter turned to spring...and the sun came out, i was ready for it.  and i guess that's why i thought when the sun comes out was a fitting title.  because there is something truly special about the seasonal shift...

now, back to fall.

i had to hold myself back at target the other day; as it is a little too early to dress my front door with a fall wreath or to decorate my house with colored leaves and pumpkins, but it is coming, i can smell it!  so until then, i'll keep my scarves tucked away on their top shelf in my closet and hold out on wearing my new hat and we will proudly sport our flip-flops and take advantage of our hot and sunny august.  we'll sit at the pool and sip cold beers, go out for mexican, hopefully make it to the beach one more time, bbq with friends and patiently soak up all this sunshine.

so here it is, a totally random post that started off as a catalogue of my trip to san francisco and ended with some long and weird explanation about the seasons and the name of this blog, enjoy!

1 comment:

Abigail Ross said...

I love ya- and am so proud of your talent as both a photographer and a writer....and sister and best friend!