Thursday, September 9, 2010

this moment

at this moment

amos lee is playing quietly in the background, mike is opposite me, just as content with the lazy tranquillity that this evening had to offer

... and as i type this i'm sipping on a sweet, but seasonal octoberfest...because today was a big day, followed by an even bigger evening.

i got a job- a good job- a job i wanted badly.

today i  got dressed all professional like... i wore a kick-ass green blouse, a chunky brown belt and cream colored wool pants.  i walked in that hospital and made my way through the atrium and up the elevator and then i sat, because i was 45 minuets early. ha!, i'm never early.  i looked over my handouts and made notes and i felt professional.  and during the interview, despite the fact that my heart was beating at an alarming v-fib rate and i kept kicking myself for wearing wool pants in september, in the south... i pretty much knew, that i was on it, and i was confident even though i was sweating my arse off.  

and after i politely thanked them for their time and shut their office door i made my way back down the elevator.   i recollected myself while sitting at starbucks; sipping my iced coffee as i watched doctors, nurses, patients and families milling around, grabbing lunch and quick breaks... and i couldn't help but rehash what had just happened...and i came to one conclusion, ok two. the first being that i felt surprisingly relaxed; i had done my best and the fact that i wasn't filled with self-defeating thoughts was a major step in the right direction, the second was that i should proabaly get the heck out of the there and change out of my sweaty pants before someone recognised me. 

and later on, on my way to yoga they called and i missed that yoga class because i was too busy spreading the word, so i decided to go to spin with mike and i smiled while i got a good butt whooping while jamming out to some justin timberlake, lady gaga and some intense, but ever-so-heart-pumping black eyed peas.  and as i drove home from the gym this evening, the sun was setting and i felt like, for the first time in awhile, that the stars were starting to align or maybe my cards were just finally falling into place, but whatever it is, it feels like my life is slowly getting a little kick start. 

and, even though we didn't celebrate at a restaurant or meet at a local bar stool and cheers to new adventures or new paths in life... i embraced the fact that tonight, when i got home, it felt ordinary, perfectly ordinary. and sometimes not celebrating makes you realize just how sweet life is.  when the house is still and the windows are open and the only music is the jingle of dog collars, the hum from the ceiling fan and the soft beats of pandora ..... you realize that this music you hear is your life, and it sounds so simple and so sweet. 

and at this moment, on nights like tonight, i'm reminded again why i love my family so much. you see,  news in my family travels fast, but good news travels even faster.  i talked to my sister for over an hour, then my mom and my brother, and while texts were flying in from that great northern region we love so much, i sat at the base of the mountain, in our home, in the south and felt loved.  and no, our zip codes may be a mash of different numbers, and we often talk/complain about all this space between, our family knows how to unite at all the right moments.

so, at this moment, i'm going to bed feeling very thankful and very loved

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